Bryson's Blog

Living with Trisomy 13

Friday, July 14, 2006

Introspect


Things are returning to "normal" for the Nault and McHugh families. I have been getting my own house in order since I left it to two men. I'll leave the details to your imagination. I do miss seeing Bryson, Dana & Travis daily, but we talk often on the phone.

Traveling back to South Carolina by myself I cried in at least 6 states. Wonder what the other drivers were thinking. It also gave me a lot of time to ponder the delicacy that life is. So many of us take it for granted. I see life through different eyes. It took an innocent newborn baby boy to do that. Oh how powerful this little guy is to one's spirit. Bryson has such spirit and will to live. You can sense that when you're around him.

I've begun to question many things too. I question why us? Why did such a rare chromosomal disorder have to effect this child, this family? What is God's role in this? Did He allow that extra 13th chromosome to slip into the mix? Or, did He give Bryson to us because he knew how we would love him more than any other family and take better care than anyone? Is there a lesson here to be learned? What I do know is that I feel things deeper, love more and purer than before Bryson came along.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Doretta, Dana & Travis, and Bryson-

With every breath we are praying for you.

With every beat of our hearts we are knocking at the Lord's heart for his mercy for Bryson.

With every tear we shed, we know he counts every single one as He pours out compassion on us and through us.

With every question "why," He helps us understand with our hearts and not our heads.

When we feel alone and afraid, we know that He is always with us as our Comforter.

He understands, and feels, our weaknesses and is touched by our infirmities.

So even when we doubt and fear, He gives us faith, which gives us strength, which gives us hope, which gives us peace, which causes us to look to Him and place everything--our very lives--in His hands.

He watches over the sparrow.
He's watching over Bryson.
He's watching over you.

We love you,
Carol, Mom & Dad

5:23 PM  
Anonymous Laurel Baird said...

Dear Doretta,
I am Bryson's grandfather Patrick's mother-in-law, Beth's mom. I have been praying for Bryson and his parents (and you) ever since I first was aware Bryson was born. This week is marking the 3rd anniversary of my younger son Doug Cohen's death Oct 13 '03--sudden death by leukemia-a shocker. Doug was born with a minor birth defect and had bone cancer when he was 20, survived 9 years cancer free. Life seems so unfair at times, especially for the little angels that are new in life. My prayers for you and your family continue. Laurel Cohen Baird

6:53 PM  

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